Dear Abby: Telling BF he’s not bringing A-game to the bedroom

Dear Abby After years of disappointment I conclusively identified the man of my dreams How do I tell him he isn t doing certain things right in the bedroom without it being uncomfortable I have mentioned it before but it didn t stick This is the only issue with our relationship I don t want to hurt his feelings or make either one of us uncomfortable but he s just not getting the job done Working On It in Tennessee Dear Working I will assume that the man of your dreams loves you and wants to take care of you Although this may be a complex topic to address communication is very critical Ask your expert or gynecologist for a referral to a licensed sex therapist then tell the man you love you would like him to accompany you If he loves you he will go and learn something If his ego gets in the way have the conversation about what you need at a time when you are both calm and relaxed and communication is easier NOT in the bedroom Dear Abby I moved away from my hometown years ago and I have a dear friend of nearly years who still likes to sleep next to me when she visits This is becoming so annoying that I don t want her to visit It was fine when we were younger but we are in our s and I no longer want to sleep next to anyone I don t like pajamas I like to sleep cool and in the dark while she is consistently cold and likes to sleep with the TV on My friend won t tell me what her predicament is she says she s not scared to sleep alone She has a husband at home but she nearly freaked out when he went on a weekend trip with his friends I have a very nice guest room but she never wants to sleep in there She does not respect my boundaries and I don t know how to make her understand that I want to sleep alone Can you help Solo Sleeping Lady in Maryland Dear Solo I sure can The next time this friend wants to visit grow a backbone Tell her you no longer want to share your bed with her or anyone and if she can t be content in your guest room she should stay home Gee whiz Dear Abby In current times I demanded a man with a black mole on the side of his face if he had been checked for skin cancer because I come from a family with a great deal of skin cancer The man was very patronizing and narrated me I should just go sit down My husband previously ignored my concerns but he did listen to a friend who was concerned that his dark mole could be pre-cancerous which it was Was I wrong for bringing this to the stranger s attention Proactive in California Dear Proactive If you explained it in the context of explaining that your husband had something similar that turned out to be cancerous I don t think what you did was wrong It may have been presumptuous but it was also well-intentioned He may have reacted the way he did because it made him self-conscious Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA