Dear Abby: Grandparents used for free childcare

Dear Abby My husband and I love our - and -year-old grandchildren very much and enjoy spending time with them The issue is we feel we are being taken advantage of Our daughter and her husband are still married but lead separate lives He works out of town and comes home bulk weekends Her weekends usually begin on Friday when she has to have someone keep the kids until he gets home if he comes home She returns on Sunday night when he leaves for work Our daughter expects us to pick up the grandkids from school and or the babysitter on Friday and keep them every weekend She doesn t ask it s assumed we will do it If we say we can t or make other plans all hell breaks loose It s the end of the world because she has to change her plans We have tried talking calmly with her about it but then she threatens to not let us see the children at all We re exhausted and don t know what to do Vexed in Virginia Dear Vexed Tell your entitled daughter FIRMLY that she will have to make other arrangements for the children on two weekends a month because you and your husband are exhausted and need time to yourselves Remind her that when she started a family the children became her not your primary responsibility You have generously given her free babysitting services for multiple years Those services are expensive as she will learn when she starts pricing them out I seriously doubt she will react by depriving you of seeing them It would be cutting off her nose to spite her face Dear Abby Three months ago my husband was diagnosed with metastatic squamous cell carcinoma that had originated in his lungs and spread throughout his body He died last month after a brutal battle with this horrifying syndrome He was a former smoker and had worked in a factory that exposed him to various chemicals During his struggle we learned that getting a CT scan of his lungs every year would have detected his deadly cancer His physician never advised him to have this simple scan that could have identified it early in its growth and possibly saved his life Unfortunately neither he nor I knew the importance of ASKING for the test A CT is a straightforward low-cost scan generally covered by greater part insurers when it has been years or less since quitting smoking or when other exposures are present Please share this message with your readers and encourage those with danger factors to request this essential procedure It could make the difference between early detection and healing or a life-and-death struggle with this lethal complaint Sorrowful in Indiana Dear Sorrowful Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband I lost my husband to lung cancer and I know how silently aggressive it can be He too was diagnosed at stage although he had not been exposed to the liability factors your husband was I am grateful that you wrote about how major a diagnostic tool a CT scan can be Readers please think about her major message and have a conversation about it with your medical expert Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA